kat: If you could invent one thing for a woman's sexual pleasure, what would you invent?
willis: it's already been invented... it's called me... oh man, that's pretty bad...

***before our little interview, we were talking about orgasms, and willis stated that he thought women had to have orgasms before a baby could be made. i promptly corrected him on this...***

kat: do you have any comments on your previous statement that women have to orgasm to make babies?
willis: i'm a genius folks, absolute genius... smarter than the average bear.

kat: when was the last time you had sex?
willis: potato, no comment.
kat: you had sex with a potato?
willis: we nicknamed her potato, i was a little drunk, gave up early, passed out, woke up early and left...
kat: comments on this?
willis: i'm a genius folks, like i said, i'm a genius....

kat: are you having fun yet?
willis: plenty of fun; all of my stories will be on the net so everyone can see and laugh along.

kat: what's something you don't remember doing, but your friends told you about later?
willis: oh man, i know there's about five of these...
uhhhhhhh.... lets see, remember that one... ::laugh:: got one that ryan did.... here's one.. i was at Mel and Sarah's party... i was a bit tipsy and uh well, they said i was hitting on so many girls there... there were girls dancing on chairs next to me and i whipped out a dollar and gave it to them.. then they left and i was feeling lonely, so i grabbed a napkin, wrote "dancers wanted" on it... and i held it in the air until two new girls came over and and danced... then i was hitting on them and one of them had a fiancee...

kat: do you remember walking from nick's sister's house back to your dorm last year and making me hold your pants up, cause you kept thinking they were falling down?
willis: no, don't remember, all i remember is asking you to hold them up....

kat: what is one thing about yourself you don't want people to know?
willis: don't wanna answer that.. :::looks towards door where his dad is in the other room:::
kat: whisper it
willis: nah, when i have something i don't want people to know, i usually just forget it

kat: does anybody ever mention "the midnight run" anymore?
willis: oh yeah, plenty of times.. troy's parents know, and when i'm around someone that knows they'll mention it and then like five people won't know, so it gets told and then it spiderwebs from that.

kat: how do you feel about clit piercings and have you ever seen one?
willis: in person? no, but as long as it doesn't cause me any pain, go ahead... actually, yeah i have seen one, but do strippers count?

kat: what do you look for in the opposite sex?
willis:
1. have to be pretty cute...and have a natural beauty. that's the first thing i look for cause otherwise... fuck the rest.
2. a unique personality, that's very important.
3. outspoken, they have to be cause... i dunno, i get along with outspoken people
4. very playful, being playful is very good.
kat: kinda like a cat, eh?
willis: if you wanna say that, but you know i don't find cats very attractive, so that goes back to rule #1...
***after this i gave him a dirty look... gee thanks willis, callin' kats unattractive.... plus he's saying this while playing with his cat's brush... i think he's hiding a fetish...***
willis: 5. finally, she's gotta be able to put up with my shit and not let me get away with it.. don't know why, probably cause sometimes people tell me i'm an asshole.

kat: what are three things you like the least in a girl?
willis: ohhhh
1. overall, being fake... if i get the sense she's fake, it ain't happening....
2. shyness... don't like shy girls
3. girls that read too much into what i say...i hate that because, i say what's on my mind, in the most literal sense... so you can't really look into it.

kat: how do you feel about anal sex?
willis: no poopy dick for me.. she better have an enema before i go near that...
***this is where i correct him, by telling him that the anus is not where the shit is stored... it's only and inch or so long, then it goes into the rectum which is 5-9 inches long... the shit is stored much deeper in the colon.... but a bath always helps...***
willis: oops didn't know that

kat: are you a "boob guy"?
willis: well i like boobs, but i'm not a big boobs kinda guy... about a handful's good for me.. i like boobs, boobs are nice.

kat: if there was an adult circus available, would you go to see it?
*** a Toledo furs commercial temporarily distracts us...***
willis: they said beautiful beavers
***espen commercial comes on making fun of cam girls....***
kat: grrr even people on TV are making fun of cam girls now... what the fuck.
***back to the question***
willis: would it have a freak show? hell yeah, it would be interesting looking at the freakshows, i'd be the guy with the foam finger and the light-up sword in the front row screaming my head off. cause that would be the greatest show on earth...
kat: so, are you a "freaky" sort of guy will?
willis: as far as body paints and stuff? well.. depends on what the freaky kinda shit is, i'm not the s&m kinda guy, don't want to be beat up
kat: what about being tied up?
willis: yeah, i'm into experimenting

kat: do you think you would make a hot girl?
willis: what do you mean?
kat: like if you dressed up like one?
willis: oh what?? i don't go drag, never have, never will...
kat: well, do you think you would if you did?
willis: been told i would
kat: by whom?
willis: believe it or not, my family...

***ok we're almost done here***

kat: how big is your penis?
willis: shit, last time i measured, god this is.... ::laughs:: honestly 6-7 inches.

kat: are you currently looking for a girlfriend? if so, what age range?
willis: it depends, if the right type of girl comes along, sure i'm looking for a girlfriend, if not... then no....
***age range*** no younger than 17 and no older than 22.

kat: do you have any comments?
willis: uhhhh yeah, lets see, gotta think... haven't said "sonofabitch"... so sonofabitch...i'm at a loss for quotes....